Ha ha. For those of you waiting to see the results of my excess eating recently, just hang on for the next post. I am almost back to my best weight ever. Pictures next week. In the mean time a little light hearted humour for those of you that take it all a little too seriously.
I took the time recently to discuss the concerns and myths around exercise and diet with one of the Worlds foremost experts on the subject, Professor Liam Daley, well known bon viveur and gormand.
The results will awaken new thoughts on diets. I'm astounded that we know so little. Thank God for the Irish.
Q: Are vegetables really good for my diet and how many should I eat on a daily basis?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn, vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. So cheers and good health.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. (There is actually some truth in this)
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! Fill your face as often as you can.
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales, walrus and seals to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: What do you think round is? It’s a shape of course!
Hopefully this will clear up the misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember, life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Bollinger in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “ What a Ride!"
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2 comments:
Chocolate, wine and fried foods are bad for you if you don't consume them responsibly! What is this? You sir are supposed to be helping people loose weight in a HEALTHY way not by telling them to go nuts over these fatty foods!
This is so funny, thanks for the laugh. I cant believe the other idiot took it seriously.
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