the baldchemists weight loss and restored health

Well, as most of you that follow my fight against the flab are aware, I had a relapse into my old habits. I have now officially become a recovering fatty. So although its not ok to go off the rails-shit happens and you must deal with it quickly.
It is important to acknowledge that you are fat and deal with it. My friends who say " go on twenty beers won't hurt you" and "three bits of cream cake are ok" are deluding themselves.
One of the essentials to feeling really good about yourself is to acquire obese and fat friends to hang around with.
But lets get back to my recovery. This blog is after all about ME!
After a few nights and days of excess holidaying, visitors from Australia, Sweden and England with no other motives than to indulge away from prying eyes of their neighbours back home using me as an excuse for their weaknesses, I ploughed the kilos on!
Seven weeks ago I weighed in at 95 Kilos( 210 pounds for our overweight American followers).
Today,and a little thank you to Simon Coldicott from Baansijan Resort and Spa for being my fitness buddy, and still is, ( you can catch up on www.baansijanresort.com) I am extremely proud to announce that my weight is EIGHTY THREE KILOS!
That is 12 kilos or 27 pounds in 7 weeks. No starving diets but an hour and a half of work out every second day.
No heavy weights. The heaviest weights were two 18 kilo dumbells during the last 2 weeks. What did we do?
Loads of repetitions (100) consisting of 8 different exercises which I will go over with you later this week, with pictures.
Judge for yourselves from the picture. I don't have any before pics( too ashamed).
Before you say "yeh photoshop" I will be only kidding myself if I do that.
So, I hope you are inspired enough to get off your bums and get active- NOW!
See you all soon.

A bit of fun while we win the war against the fat and flab

Those of you that don’t have a personal trainer, time go to the gym or just generally don’t believe in all the hype that the baldchemist espouses about fitness and fatness, can console themselves with the weekly training programme devised by the well known life style expert, Professor Liam Daley.
Professor Daley, at present ensconced somewhere at a lifestyle establishment in Double Bay, Sydney, has agreed to give exclusively to the baldchemist his personal programme.
You will note there is no need for expensive gym equipment or gym memberships. Professor Daley advocates the use of the stuff one deals with daily.
Monday:
Beat around the bush.
Jump to conclusions.
Climb the walls.
Wade through paperwork.

Tuesday:
Drag my heels.
Push my luck.
Make mountains out of mole hills.
Hit the nail on the head.
Wednesday:
Bend over backwards.
Jump on the band wagon.
Balance the books.
Run around in circles.
Thursday:
Blow my own horn.
Climb the ladder of success.
Pull out the stops.
Add fuel to the fire.
Friday:
Open a can of worms.
Put my foot in my mouth.
Start the ball rolling.
Go over the edge.
Saturday:
Pick up the pieces. And raise more than a few glasses to round off the week.
Professor Daley has, thanks mainly to this very strict regime, managed throughout his life, to keep in shape retaining his weight and figure constant.
Many thanks Professor, who we are led to believe holds nightly, keep fat classes in several establishments around the Eastern suburbs. We await in eager anticipation his next round of wisdom in the fight against the fit.
NOTA BENE.
Professor Daley does not work out on Sundays but spends the day relaxing and having a couple of well earned beers with friends before toddling off to Mass at the local ministry where he will imbibe a little wine. Allowing the body to recover before embarking on another hard work out week.

The slender waist and how to get one.

After talking with my great mate Simon from Baansijan resort here on Koh Samui and for those of you who would like to see the resort it’s on www.baansijanresort.com about weight loss and keeping fit. We came to the conclusion that trillions are spent every year all over the World by people wanting a flat stomach.
Now having a flat stomach myself, after working on it for the past month I have at last discovered the secret, 'cause it has to be a secret doesn’t it?
AND….. further more I will now reveal all to you free of charge!
With more than 200 abdominal exercise devices being sold for countless amounts of hard cash, you would have to believe these amazing new products have led to vast amounts of dieters walking around with a nice, lean mid-section. Well…. that ain’t the case is it? Why?
Because these exercise contraptions cannot eliminate the layer of fat that lies on top of your abdominals! Simple.
In order to slim your waistline you must understand how the abdominal muscles function and how your body burns fat. Firstly, the difference between fat and muscle. Fat is excess calories and is primarily stored in layers on top of muscle tissue. Muscle is made up of fibers that contract or shorten to produce movement. Fat cannot turn into muscle and muscle cannot turn into fat! However, you can lose muscle and you can gain fat. That’s what happens to most people.
So if you are after a nice slender waist line and a flat stomach, the first thing you need to get rid of the layers of fat that are on top of your abdominals. We all have a flat stomach, it’s just some of us are covered by excess fat.
The most effective way of flattening your stomach is a combination of strength training (with a extra focus on mid-section), cardiovascular exercise (short, hard workouts), and stable blood sugar (keeps you from adding additional fat and makes it easier for the body to use body fat for fuel). But be clear about one thing: Fat comes off the body evenly from all over the body! You cannot target one particular area to reduce fat.
The main function of the abdominal muscles is to flex your torso forward. There are also muscles that flex your torso sideways and muscles that rotate your torso.
How often do you see people on their “ab roller” doing hundreds of crunches or sit-ups every day? What a waste.
If you want to effectively strengthen your stomach you need to incorporate the following types of exercises and change your eating habits a little. But we have covered that earlier:
Lie on your back, legs stretched out in front of you. Now lift them twenty centimeters off the floor and hold it there for the count of ten seconds.
Repeat that as many times as you can without putting too much strain on your back.
This will flatten the stomach. Not build it out like the proverbial “chesterfield couch”. Who needs that look? Only those with nothing between the ears.
The abs, are muscles just like any other and should be worked on no more than 3 times a week. You also want to make sure you train progressively, working just a little harder each time.
Stick with it. It will happen, but not over night.

fitness, diet and fatness myths and truths at last the truth

Ha ha. For those of you waiting to see the results of my excess eating recently, just hang on for the next post. I am almost back to my best weight ever. Pictures next week. In the mean time a little light hearted humour for those of you that take it all a little too seriously.
I took the time recently to discuss the concerns and myths around exercise and diet with one of the Worlds foremost experts on the subject, Professor Liam Daley, well known bon viveur and gormand.
The results will awaken new thoughts on diets. I'm astounded that we know so little. Thank God for the Irish.

Q: Are vegetables really good for my diet and how many should I eat on a daily basis?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn, vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. So cheers and good health.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. (There is actually some truth in this)

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! Fill your face as often as you can.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales, walrus and seals to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: What do you think round is? It’s a shape of course!

Hopefully this will clear up the misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember, life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Bollinger in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, “ What a Ride!"

how to get rid of the holiday indulgence

Ok I know I have been a slack devil recently. The reason is I've been on holiday and just wanted to show off my new shape. Problem is I got lazy and after two weeks of total debauchery have managed to plow five kilos of fat back on. Bugger!
I often get emails from those attempting to get rid of the fat and freshen themselves a bit, who are frustrated and pissed off. They aren’t achieving their goals and they tell me they have “tried everything”. Some are in the throes of giving the whole thing up and resigning themselves to being fat and un-attractive. Ready to throw in the towel on exercise and nutrition. They feel nothing works. They start to buy into the idea that “diets don’t work so there’s no point in trying”. And sometimes they are right! Sometimes we want to indulge- just as I have.
I was like that once. The most annoying thing was that I could not figure things out. I ate well. I felt I was active. Yet I was 30 kilos overweight
The worst part was exactly this "what the hell is wrong" part. I felt doomed by genetics. I felt out of control. I felt powerless to do anything about it. I knew that crash dieting wasn’t a solution but I didn’t know how to change my eating (or that I should change my eating – I thought I was eating perfectly well). I wanted to feel good but I didn't, and no amount of rationalising or ranting about the health and beauty conspiracy worked.
In my years of experience as and someone on the journey of physical culture what I have discovered is that human perception has only a loose connection to reality. We do not see ourselves -- or others -- as we really are. We may see ourselves as fatter or thinner, healthier or less healthy, more or less muscular and so on. but unless we are highly experienced professionals, we are generally not in any position to judge our food intake, activity levels, degree of fitness, or body composition. So having said that now I start again getting rid of the 5 extra bloody kilos I put on.
Just watch this space and we'll see how we do it. Just hang in and don't give up.